…another reason I’m teaching this class is, and this is much more tender, which is maybe why I didn’t lead with it, is because I became disenchanted with performing for a time. I wrote this class in order to fight my way back to it. To find my way back to something deeper than blind ambition, something more true than the what I felt doing 2 and 3 shows a weekend, every weekend for 2 and a half years, which was a fragile kind of fraudulent belonging. The kind I imagine gladiators feel in colosseum. The kind where you sit among royalty and yet you feel like you’re what’s for dinner if you don’t perform.
It wasn’t until much later that I shifted from a place of desperation and fighting, albeit for noble, socially palatable reasons, to wanting something more than to resist or get back to. Something happened in recent years. I had friends. I got to grow up with my mother, us both as adult women now. I belonged.
It wasn’t sudden but steadily, I wanted to imbue anything I touched with the expansive beauty I discovered in between the spaces and in the midst of my ambitions.
Performance as Radicalism in Practice is, I think, one of many such expressions, where the fire of political movement is localized and honored at its inception point: in the container that is our relationship to our bodies, other bodies, and the lands we traversed to find one another. The relationship. That is the site of indelible, radical, beautiful change. And that is what I hope to harness and wield like a magic wand with this class and line of inquiry.